A Safe Birth is Actually the Woman’s Job
I don’t care who your care provider is. It is you who has to give birth to that baby. You are the one who has to surrender to the birth process. Are you going to let go to birth or are you going to fight it? That is my question to you.
I want you to know that your care provider is not there to deliver your baby. Your care provider is there to watch and wait for you to deliver your baby. Birth works because nature made it to work. Technology and birth care is nothing compared to what nature has given us. Women have forgotten this and have turned to something/someone outside of themselves to make birth safe. If this strategy works so well then why are there so many fucked up, traumatic birth stories?
I want to see amazing, vaginal births, okay! Women have to take the safety of themselves and their babies back into their own hands. Sure, go ahead and hire a doctor or midwife. I am not against care providers, but do not depend on them to make sure your labor progresses safely and normally. That part is on you because no one can do it for you. Birth is very personal.
Labor\birth is freaking scary. I remember the first time I went into to labor, my legs were shaking like crazy. That being said, to me, one reason we hire professionals to manage labor and birth because of safety. We want happy, healthy babies. I just want you to consider a whole other side to safety when it comes to labor and birth.
I have to take you back to the mother doe I described in Birth Secret #1.
I was on my way home one early morning and there were two bran new fawns in the tall grass next to the road (it was a private and quiet dirt road leading to an old driveway). I stopped to look. The fawns were still getting used to their legs. They had been born probably hours before. I saw their mother was there too, just a little ways away. She was coaxing them to stand up and follow her… away from me. One of the fawns, that had already been standing, unsteadily started to follow her. The other, legs shaking, stood up and followed her as well. I drove off to leave them in peace. Labor is hormonal. Do you think that mother doe would have let me watch her give birth? Fuck no. If I would have been anywhere near her while she labored her labor would have stopped progress until she felt like she was safe and alone again. Why would her labor have stopped though? Adrenaline. Labor is a VERY vulnerable time in a female’s life. Which is why women need to feel VERY comfortable with their surrounding company and place of birth. Otherwise, adrenaline – the fight or flight hormone suppresses oxytocin, thus suppressing labor.
Women are primal beings. No matter how modern life gets women still need to feel ‘safe’ like the mother doe. LABOR SAFE. A woman needs to feel calm without things around, people around (poking and prodding) making her nervous. Disturbances set off the wrong hormones.
The modern woman does have to think about a lot more than just getting somewhere private and squeezing out a baby. Do the best you can for you, in whatever situation you are in. Think about the mother doe. When labor starts she knows something is happening, something is definitely up, and she knows she needs to let it pass. What would she do? Hide somewhere private, safe, quiet maybe with her herd, maybe not. She might feel like she was going to die but there is literally nothing else for her to do but let it happen and because bearing offspring is normal and safe she will give birth and not die.
All that being said, what kinds of basic, primal things make birth safe for the mother doe that a modern woman can incorporate into her birth plan? I have a few things to offer:
- Nutrition! The mother doe soars through birth because she is nourished and healthy. Eating plenty of good food prevents a lot of very bad things that can happen during pregnancy, labor, and birth. So, know this, if you are healthy and getting plenty of calories then you have completed the most important task when growing and giving birth to a baby! Good nutrition is your safety blanket and puts you well on your way to a normal trauma free birth. It is very important to eat well during pregnancy. It even helps with morning sickness. The massive amount of hormones in your system tends to upset the stomach, food settles the stomach. Even if you feel like you can’t eat, eat something. Calories are your friend. If the body doesn’t have enough calories (carbs) it has to work harder by breaking down protein and using that for energy. With plenty of carbs your body can use protein for building new blood cells (a healthy woman’s blood volume will expand by 50-60% during pregnancy), the placenta, and the growing baby. High risk and not eating enough go hand in hand. Eating real food and plenty of it is your number 1 ticket to a normal and safe birth.
- Intimacy! Mother doe can not give birth in the spotlight, things will go wrong. Women give birth with other people watching all the time, because women can get through some tough stuff. Just think about your primal side, because birth is very instinctual!! You can have everything perfect, perfectly healthy, perfect partner, perfect birth plan and still end up with a baby that, it seems, won’t come out. Women usually want people around when they are in labor. People are important helpers, but I want you to think about birth like sex, or better yet, sex while you are on your period. Would you really want your mom watching? Would you really want anyone to see that? The more intimate the better. You are going to have a full on baby orgasm out of your vagina (there really is no other way to describe how amazing it feels when that baby finally comes out). You want to feel like you can completely let go. Care providers have to do their jobs, and you want them too, but they also need to keep their distance. Ask your care provider\s to leave you undisturbed as much as possible so that you feel comfortable enough to let go to your contractions.
- Trust! Contractions work. Let go and don’t think about it. Trust yourself and your body. Every contraction pulls the cervix up and around the baby’s head. Do not force this. You do not pull your cervix around your baby’s head, your uterus does. You do not push your baby out, your uterus does. Trust your contractions. Your uterus was built for this. The more you trust your uterus the less scared you are, the less scared you are the better your hormones work, the better your hormones work the more normal your labor and birth will go.
Nutrition, intimacy, and trust = labor safe as a mother doe. Thank you for reading, I hope it helps! Go get ’em girl!